Well as everyone already knows, the answer to that is a resounding "NO!" but hey a girl can dream, right? I haven't really known what to write about the past few weeks, and so I just jumped on to check out what's in here. Man, that first post seems SO long ago! I'm surprised with myself, I can't lie.
I think I'm really starting to come into my own, or as my counselor put it this week "well look who's wearing their big girl panties?" It felt great. I've been so much more optimistic as of late. Work is awesome, E is awesome, life (for the most part) is starting to become awesome again. Ok, even if it's just a little bit, it's something.
I've taken some big steps in the last few weeks. Things I never imagine really being able to do, but I'm definitely enjoying it. I've been going to church on a regular basis and I actually look forward to getting up for it on Sunday morning. It's no longer a chore as it had been before. I'm still reading (not every day, but what's one to do with a six-month old), I've figured out some organizational stuff, and I've had a few run-ins with a guys.
GUYS?!?! What? Yeah, I did. And nice guys at that, but if anything they just made me realize even more that I'm not ready for that sort of stuff. I know I've said that deep down I know I'm not ready, but now I know it shallow up? Is that good terminology? Oh well if it's not...
I know I said I wouldn't go on the prowl, but I really haven't. The guys I've met have been people I just happened across while doing normal stuff. Ok, I'll admit, one was at a bar, but I wasn't trying...
Lastly, I've really started to enjoy being out and about when E is with his dad. I'm meeting new people, and discovering just how much I missed out on with some "old" people (no you're not old, it's just that I never knew you really until now). Aside from the financial stuff (which gets ickier (yep, I just created another word) by the day) I now have complete faith that i WILL come out the other side no worse for wear. I just wish all the paperwork and court stuff would be done already so I can get on with it.
The climb has become less of a race up the mountain and more of a leisurely hike, with a few scenic stops along the way, because sometimes you need to slow it all down and enjoy it. So I am.
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